Friday, April 24, 2009

The Lady In A 'YELLOW' Suit

“ N N N…ok, it’s a lil bit funny, but ma’am I dun think I’ll be able to recognize you.”
“oh...ha ha….hmmm…lets c…hmmm…I’m wearing a ‘yellow suit’.” Said the lady in ‘yellow’ as I drove with a flimsy mind.
“oh, and another thing,” this time a better question came from the other side “where do u meet me?”
“hmmm…he he….hmmm…lets c…in front of neelam theatre?”
So with a fast beating heart and an apprehensive mind I stepped out, after some 10 mins for the daunting task of meeting my best friend’s, angry(??), mother, for we’ve been fighting for the past 4 months, every 5th day and for I’ve been the reason for her zillion tears.
But I had hope coz the lady, from what I’d heard, was a ‘cool dudette’!! N hope sustains life but here hope sustained my face (probably)…coz I was expecting a [thatch] instead of a ‘hello’. Newys, I had hardly walked 10 steps when the 1st ‘yellow’ flashed. “OMG, OMG…there she is!!! I’m dead!!!” but that lady gently smiled, seeing me drop sweat at her sight, and passed….
Phew!!!false alarm !!! And air pumped IN again.
But not for long. On the very next turn, as I walked past the English Book Shop ( 1 block away from my ‘prescribed burial spot’ ) this lady in a typical Punjabi suit charged towards me like a raging bull piercing me with her ‘how dare u did that to my daughter’ eyes. And I was sweating again. for an overly ‘stretched’ second I stood stupefied, before I childishly darted towards the nearest pillar n hid behind it, hoping to find the doorway to a parallel universe.
And my heart skipped a 100 beats. I did hear it but cudnt feel it. And when I gained the strength to open my eyes again I saw this bizarre scene. A man down on his knees, cryin like a baby (I’m sure the tears were not all coz of the hurt in the slap ;) ) n apologizing fervently.
I’d never seen soo many ‘yellows’ before. The place was like black, white n ‘yellow’ all around. And reasons like “ Naaah!!! She’s too overweight. She can’t be ‘her daughter’s’ mom .“ and “ Nooo waaay !!! Ohh boy !!1 she cant be a mom at all.” [ :P :P ] Helped me cut down my options. I’m sure not even a single ‘yellow’ women escaped my eye [;)]. It was like getting a free pass to ‘glance’, tho with a ‘?’ on my face [n don’t let ur dirty minds run, guys :P ]
Newys I was finally standing in front of the theatre wid no luck (or all the luck, I thot again ;) ) on my way. And I still cud see the place ‘yellow’.
“where are u?” she called and said a lil impatiently.
“I’m there ma’am, where are u?”
And then my eyes caught a sudden ‘yellow’ movement and somehow I knew the ‘search’ part was over. She fitted the virtual image perfectly. BUT BUT BUT…I was still ‘not found’ !!!
“ Ah!! Yes, I see u, in the white shirt n the black trousers.” And I was wearing jeans n a baggy tee shirt. [:P]
“No no no no……I’m on your right, now your left, YOUR left.” She didn’t hear me when I said ‘your right’. So eventually I made her go round before she saw me, as I waved at her.
And came the dreaded part !!! As I moved towards her, I started shakin a lil.
N as soon as I was there, she raised her right hand.
And I had my eyes closed….waitin !!!!!
And then she patted me on my shoulder and said, “ how are u son?”
Whoa!!! Now that was unexpectedly sweet [:)] . But I still cudnt believe it [:)] I still had doubts….but we moved on…she bought some stuff, for her daughter, while coolly chattin on the way n cursin a shopkeeper for not replacing a new pair of jeans coz accordin to him the ‘wear’ was not big enuf, yet !! “ stupid shopkeeper!!”
With flyin time, I knew the topic wud change any moment. And it did. With a naughty twinkle in her concerned eyes n a motherly smile she asked,” so, how are ur fights goin on? “ [:) :)]