Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Stalker (in me ??) ....

" NO, MAN u got not balls to do that..haaa"
n he said, ,"dude m not called 'the hindi for balls' for no reason !! i shall do it, and u shall witness it live"
n boy !! i knew it inside that i was in for a treat [:D] . n well pushing him in for the deed was the sole reason for my existence now!! And how? Yes, by questioning his 'manhood' {it always works u kno}[:P]
They were the last days on my PS-II in Delhi, when this friend of mine was 'encouraged' {by none other than me} to go and talk to another trainee, i should say 'lil trainee' {as we called her 'tingi si'}
and thus began his quest of gathering courage.
the day finally arrived when he 'thought' he had it in !! so at around 4 in the even, when he saw her leave off, we hurriedly packed up n followed {my 1st stalking experience}. n his itch was so high, that for a day he forgot his luxury in his fricking gaddi, n stood there at the bus stop, waiting for 'her' to 'glide' {as he would say} into a bus. which she did. n, hastily, we did too. and that too without gettin into her 'tiny' eyes. so we sat a coupla rows behind her,talking in whispers,but yeah having a lotta fun. the bus took a left from 'ashram' {a place in delhi and mind you this has relevance in the story to follow}. she dropped off at the 'lajpat nagar' stop. and boy !! was he glad. "yaar this place is quite expensive,she must be rich dude" [ha ha].

so, my friend didnt turn up d next day {i guess he dreamt about her for a long enuf time}
well after a lite day in office i left for the bus stop {i stayed in noida during those days n yes it has relevance too} as soon as it was 5, obv expecting nothing extraordinary. n well the 'tingi si' girl had already left. so i walked to my stop n was stunned to see her there,waiting {obv not for me if u thought so[:P]}. n a bus came to a screeching halt {u know the delhi blue lines} n i climb in only to be stunned for the 2nd time in 2 mins, she was sitting in the row in front of me. my second exp of stalking {only this time it was coincidental}. but this time i was alone,without the company of the 'real stalker'. but newys all i had to do was hide my face till the bus reached 'ashram'{coz her stop was to the left of it while mine to the right}. no big deal, i thought. i laid low. face hidden. {so was she, hidden behind a man[:P]}. i got up, as soon as the bus took a right from 'ashram' n saw her seat taken by someone else. i was glad.
BUT as soon as i reached the door, i saw her standing,ready to get off, {but hidden by a tall man} n so did she. we stared at each other.she in a panicky look {she looked really small in that look [:P]} and i in bewilderment.
WHAT THE HELL !! she....!!! didnt she......!!!!............
'I' was hence given the title of a 'stalker' by those eyes.
N WELL what happened as we got down... was waayyyyy tooo hilarious [:D]. with her tiny lil feet, n her 'mammoth' {for her size} handbag, she literally ran away taking suspicious n alarmed looks at me every other second. [:D]
And what was i doing....holding my stomach and laughing as i do after hearing a barney stinson's cracker [:D]

well in the end, who was stalking whom...i got no clue !!!
{oh, btw she din turn up the entire next week}[:P]

PS-it is a story INSPirED from a true offense intended :P

Sunday, June 14, 2009

A JOLY RIDE !! "Wish WE had Shoe-Throwers too..."

HOLS are borin..hell yea !! n that too specially when u've been livin in a hostel for virtually d 'best' part of ur lifetime...
newys wid nothin much to do n wid nothin so 'extravagently outrageous' happenin in my life, i've fallen for the ever so absorbing n enchanting world of 'the newspaper' ...
... so my next coupla posts r obv gonna be bout some articles-some serious issues n some hilarious ones- trust me, n m not paid for this advertisement ;) , but TOI gives u d 'all in one' feel, like none other ...
... so for all those hu havnt read this particular goes-

Now this is wot happens when some 'action expecting' journos come to r vivacious country :) ...n that too durin the thick of 'action'- the elections-

It(TOI) says-
India is like a complicated novel, the moment u are to start a fresh chapter, you've to go bcak to the previous one, just to figure out the complexities you're bout to face in the passages to come. this probably is the best observation made by a team of BBC journos from across the world ['probably' is that d rt word ?? :P ]. capturing the smells,sights and pulse of this diverse land,they recount tales that are at time pleasant, at times are exasperating [n at times sweaty n smelly :P]
Election Drama:
When 2 diff teams of senior journos attended 2 diff election rallies..there was just one thing common-both were witness to shoe throwin incidents on the same day-while one saw a shoe flyin past Manmohan Singh, the other saw a slipper missin L K Advani by inches [damn!! tho no surprise there,we never had a 'darts' champ from India] . Says an assignment editor, BBC World News, "we are waitin to see if the trend of shoe-throwin will become the next big thing in the UK,after Indian curries,dresses and bindis" [ha ha ha..that'd be 'some' edition to the list of things India has given to the UK, another 'gem' in their throne :D] .Even the badlands of Chapra cudnt deter the spirits of this team,with d Somalian BBC head keepin the atmosphere cheerful as in his words "Hey! This looks so peaceful compared to the streets of my country." Then there was this Chinese hu was shocked to find a Hindu Marxist. "but wasnt Marxism supposed to be the religion of a Marxist?" [my dear chinki,everythin's fair in love,war n INDIA :P]

In LALU Land
I saw a dream last night in which i marry a white girl...and today u appear at my doorstep. Will u marry me, my dear?" asked a 'very serious' Lalu Yadav to a totally stumped senior procuder of BBC Radio. "But then, Lalu's known to be a man of wit," says the blond n pretty lady, who was relieved to hear his next salvo,"I can marry u,but what will happen to Rabri Devi!" [probably the followin :P]
Another shocker was when the whole grp was greeted by a woman,wid her head covered,who "silently went bout takin care of the guests wid tea and biscuits". n it was none other than the 'devi' herself.... !!!!!

It's Jolly Bad
Joanna Jolly [the (un/)lucky damsel hu xperienced the above 'episode'] has a surname that is the same a popular north Indian surname (jolly) [rem r popular Jolly pajji of PCA ?? ;) ]. In all the places that the grp visited, she was often teased wid the signboards that read 'Jolly Contructions' [reminds me of 'Happy Singh' of 'Munna Bhai-2' :D], 'Jolly Sweets", etc but the best was clearly a small ice-cream cart in Allahabad that read-Jolly Ice-cream, wid a tagline,"Ice-Cream that gives u bounce wid every ounce and will make u pounce!" [now there's one very literate Ice-Cream wala :P, hu says India isnt progressin :D]

PS-write ur views here...n not ping me on gtalk :P

Wednesday, May 13, 2009



I looked around with searchin eyes,
Coz the dark speaks so many lies.
But blind hope i had in my heart,
And this huge essay was my only part.
So i moved along that edge, so fine,
For i knew someday i'll see the shine.

A faint clue was all i desired,
Coz that hope inside was getting xpired.
But the tough times dont cease off straight,
N fight it out, you have to, with fate.
So i let the world go black,
For then, I believe, the Heart speaks for the rest of the pack.

Lesser known is the fact,
The more u try, "harder" is the "impact".
But its like the falling leaves of autumn,
And that anguished surge to touch the bottom.
So then I finally loosen the noose,
For only then, i kno Its magic shall guide me thru the dark hues..

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Lady In A 'YELLOW' Suit

“ N N N…ok, it’s a lil bit funny, but ma’am I dun think I’ll be able to recognize you.”
“oh...ha ha….hmmm…lets c…hmmm…I’m wearing a ‘yellow suit’.” Said the lady in ‘yellow’ as I drove with a flimsy mind.
“oh, and another thing,” this time a better question came from the other side “where do u meet me?”
“hmmm…he he….hmmm…lets c…in front of neelam theatre?”
So with a fast beating heart and an apprehensive mind I stepped out, after some 10 mins for the daunting task of meeting my best friend’s, angry(??), mother, for we’ve been fighting for the past 4 months, every 5th day and for I’ve been the reason for her zillion tears.
But I had hope coz the lady, from what I’d heard, was a ‘cool dudette’!! N hope sustains life but here hope sustained my face (probably)…coz I was expecting a [thatch] instead of a ‘hello’. Newys, I had hardly walked 10 steps when the 1st ‘yellow’ flashed. “OMG, OMG…there she is!!! I’m dead!!!” but that lady gently smiled, seeing me drop sweat at her sight, and passed….
Phew!!!false alarm !!! And air pumped IN again.
But not for long. On the very next turn, as I walked past the English Book Shop ( 1 block away from my ‘prescribed burial spot’ ) this lady in a typical Punjabi suit charged towards me like a raging bull piercing me with her ‘how dare u did that to my daughter’ eyes. And I was sweating again. for an overly ‘stretched’ second I stood stupefied, before I childishly darted towards the nearest pillar n hid behind it, hoping to find the doorway to a parallel universe.
And my heart skipped a 100 beats. I did hear it but cudnt feel it. And when I gained the strength to open my eyes again I saw this bizarre scene. A man down on his knees, cryin like a baby (I’m sure the tears were not all coz of the hurt in the slap ;) ) n apologizing fervently.
I’d never seen soo many ‘yellows’ before. The place was like black, white n ‘yellow’ all around. And reasons like “ Naaah!!! She’s too overweight. She can’t be ‘her daughter’s’ mom .“ and “ Nooo waaay !!! Ohh boy !!1 she cant be a mom at all.” [ :P :P ] Helped me cut down my options. I’m sure not even a single ‘yellow’ women escaped my eye [;)]. It was like getting a free pass to ‘glance’, tho with a ‘?’ on my face [n don’t let ur dirty minds run, guys :P ]
Newys I was finally standing in front of the theatre wid no luck (or all the luck, I thot again ;) ) on my way. And I still cud see the place ‘yellow’.
“where are u?” she called and said a lil impatiently.
“I’m there ma’am, where are u?”
And then my eyes caught a sudden ‘yellow’ movement and somehow I knew the ‘search’ part was over. She fitted the virtual image perfectly. BUT BUT BUT…I was still ‘not found’ !!!
“ Ah!! Yes, I see u, in the white shirt n the black trousers.” And I was wearing jeans n a baggy tee shirt. [:P]
“No no no no……I’m on your right, now your left, YOUR left.” She didn’t hear me when I said ‘your right’. So eventually I made her go round before she saw me, as I waved at her.
And came the dreaded part !!! As I moved towards her, I started shakin a lil.
N as soon as I was there, she raised her right hand.
And I had my eyes closed….waitin !!!!!
And then she patted me on my shoulder and said, “ how are u son?”
Whoa!!! Now that was unexpectedly sweet [:)] . But I still cudnt believe it [:)] I still had doubts….but we moved on…she bought some stuff, for her daughter, while coolly chattin on the way n cursin a shopkeeper for not replacing a new pair of jeans coz accordin to him the ‘wear’ was not big enuf, yet !! “ stupid shopkeeper!!”
With flyin time, I knew the topic wud change any moment. And it did. With a naughty twinkle in her concerned eyes n a motherly smile she asked,” so, how are ur fights goin on? “ [:) :)]

Monday, February 23, 2009

THE WALK through the leArnings..

When you live in a place for over two n a half yrs you are expected to learn something. As in its very obvious. Right !!! The perfect fusion of learning those tiny little scribbling in our highly rated ‘good to look, but sleepy to read’ books and the ‘more than many’ extranaceously extra activities..the art of living with people and painting those beautiful memories outta it..the meticulousness of understanding the importance of ‘decimals’ in life..the principles of taking responsibilities and working tirelessly under the shadow..the analysis of making science ‘stand’ strongly..the greatness of uniqueness or the uniqueness of greatness…or to say the least the urgency of being ‘tall’…

But what have I learnt??? GHANTA…ha ha !!! (no not literally..)

the endurance to gain that power to soar into the sky and hang from the ring..the pleasantness of deception….the grandeur of celebrations…the twinge in strumming the asked cord..the asperity of bearing the melting ice cream…the simplicity in overcoming the perplexity while striking a pose…the insanity in being the dark ‘night’…the taste in ‘almost’ cooking…the acute sting in the dearth of days… the ‘sweetness’ of ‘sleepless’ nights..the excitement of talking to an ‘unknown’ best friend..or to say the least the requisitions of a ‘fall’…

have I wasted it ??? NO, i guess I’ve learnt to live it !!!

PS- 1st ;)